Is there a greater common enemy in all the world than the Nazis. I turned on the TV tonight after watching my zillionth episode of Go Diego, Go! and found comfort in knowing that Indiana Jones is outwitting Nazi Germany in their search for the Holy Grail. He can do everything.
(Side note on Diego: How does a South American kid, presumably living in the jungle, have the most technologically advanced piece of equipment known to man? I’m talking, of course, about his RescuePack, which he wears like a backpack. It turns into anything he needs. Bicycle? Check. Snowboard? Check. Hot air balloon or kayak? Check and check. Of course, realism in a child’s show that recently had Diego ride a condor into the sky to lift the sun may require overlooking a thing or two, but still…)
What Dr. Jones can’t do, however, is beat the St. Louis Cardinals, which we’re left relying on the Cincinnati Reds to do.
The Reds started their series in St. Louis tonight with a walk, a stolen base, and a rain delay. At least the Cards fans showed they were the best in baseball with a half hearted “booing” of Brandon Phillips, public enemy number one under the Arch. In BPs profound words (via Twitter):
I love my new name #BooPhillips but Honestly, that was the weakest Booooooo’s I’ve ever heard! Y’all can’t even “Boo” properly! Come on STL
My thirst for carnage hopes this kicks off WW3 and even furthers the rivalry. Maybe Yadier Molina drop kicks Clutch Man Monie (Ramon Hernandez, for the uninitiated) and Chris Carpenter wanders the streets the Gateway City until he can come up with something to tell his son.
Since the Reds are on rain delay, let’s apply my focus back to Indiana Jones and his role as defender of the universe… I feel like calling Indiana Jones a ninja doesn’t accomplish anything but embarrass ninjas. The only tools Indy has is a bullwhip and Data from the Goonies. And he only gets Data for a quarter of his adventures. Right now, as I type, Indiana Jones is chasing Nazis. Why is this significant? Because he’s on a horse and they are running away in tanks. TANKS.
I’m going to go get another glass of bourbon now and hope that the Reds come out of their rain delay soon. I’d wish Dr. Jones luck, but what would be the point?