Never a Dull Moment
So it’s been quite a while since I’ve last written anything so I’ll try to recap the last couple of months. After my last post I had a couple of you ask me whether our trip to Jamaica had the same drunken confusion that we had on our honeymoon. Yes and no. Yes there was drunken confusion; no there was not a kidnapping. The long and short of it is this: on the first night in Montego Bay, we took full advantage of the resort being all inclusive. We got separated and being that this resort was actually two and thus quite large, we had difficulty finding each other.
As I meandered about in the hopes of finding Jaimee, I decided to cut across the pool/bar area to save time, because clearly I had a good lay of the land at this point. Unfortunately, my cavalier attitude was my undoing. I scanned the area but didn’t see two things: my bride or the pool I was stepping into. Nobody was around to see it, but if so, it had to have been hilarious. Completely unaware, I stepped right into it, drunk, without breaking stride. I came up okay, and the next day rationalized that this was the overflow pool which, in my defense, wasn’t lit up like the regular pool, which is why I didn’t see it. Either way, I fell into the freaking pool.
Luckily, I didn’t hit my head or something, because that could have been the end of things for our hero. I remember getting out of the pool and then getting back in, still fully dressed, to search for my glasses and a sandal, neither of which were recovered.
The next morning Jaimee and I awoke (apparently we had finally found each other) to find me without my glasses and having only one sandal. The expression on the face of the lady at the front desk was priceless as I described to her the need to call lost and found for a single, right, black leather sandal, size 12. No such luck. We didn’t find my glasses either. The good news is that I wasn’t the only one to lose something; Jaimee had inadvertently left our camera in one of the resort bars, but that was recovered without incident.
Not much excitement has transpired between then and Thanksgiving. We had a great Thanksgiving with the family; even Dusty came home to surprise everyone. My mother would tell you this was “the best” and my father would say it was a Festivus miracle (clearly disregarding that the Festivus season has not yet come upon us) but I would say the best part of the Thanksgiving holiday was going to a storage locker auction on the Friday following Turkey Day.
For those of you who are unaware of what a storage locker auction is, I will refer you to A&E’s Storage Wars. The premise is simple; storage lockers are rented and when the tenants fail to pay for a couple of months (not sure how long that has to be), the lockers are put up for auction. The auctioneer goes to the locker to be sold, rolls open the door and everyone gets a chance to look into the belly of the beast. You can’t go into the locker, nor can you touch, open boxes, or really do anything with the contents. People bring flashlights and use various other methods to help make a determination of whether or not to bid on the locker in question. You are bidding on the entire locker, everything in it belongs to the highest bidder. Let’s get started.
Attending this early morning was myself, my father, brother Dusty, and uncles Ron and Mike. We really didn’t know what to expect, but we got there and checked in. There were a lot of people. My intention is not to paint these people as bad people, because I don’t believe they are. What I know of them is merely superficial and is not meant as an attack on their character nor their intelligence, but whoasers. This group was something else. Early estimates by the council (me and members of our group) estimated attendance north of 300 people. As Dusty observed, most of them looked like they were wearing what they found in the last locker they purchased. The hilarity of the people watching can not be overstated.
So we get to our first locker, which was actually two small ones that were being shopped together. I assume they were the same owner as not only were they being sold together, but they were next to each other and shared similar qualities (empty Honey Brown beer bottles). Dusty was adamant that because of the beer bottles and what we can only assume was a used, hopefully empty, pizza box, was not worth bidding on. The rest of the council felt comfortable with as much as 75-100 dollars. It went for about 125, if memory serves right.
We did this sort of thing for 15 lockers that day. The highest price of one was over $1100 and looked to probably be worth it. It was like an entire apartment or condo was stored in it. Couple of tvs, couches, bed and other kitchen appliances and such. Uncle Ronnie wondered aloud if a mattress was really something you wanted to buy at a storage auction, but apparently people do. I’d say we saw at least 8 of them through the day. The worst locker went for ten bucks and was all scrap wood. That’s it…scrap pieces of wood.
The best locker that I think we saw all day contained an old cocktail table arcade game, Space Invaders; the kind you sit down and watch the game on the top of the table. It was pretty cool, but of course you have no earthly idea whether it works or not. This locker also had a nice bike in it, but of course it was missing the seat. A few other odds and ends; nothing of real interest. This thing went for 600 clams, which may be okay if the video game works, but otherwise you’re probably hosed.
We came away empty handed, but we had so much fun. So much laughing, so much people watching, and in general, just a good time with family members. We will be attending more, and if we buy anything, I will chronicle the experience and share with you what it is we find and any other details I think may be of interest.
So those are the most interesting things that I feel I can relay to you at this time. I just took two trips for work, Tampa and New Orleans, and will be going to Austin in a few weeks. Perhaps I’ll see and experience enough in these trips to fill out another edition of the blog.